


A Day is Long

by freedomworm



Series: The Heaven We Chase [2]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, M/M, Physical Disability, References to Depression, References to Illness, Relationship Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:34:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomworm/pseuds/freedomworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jono and Remy move out of the isolation of Utopia, and out of their own little bubble. That's when the real world -and all of its problems -begins to catch up with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so I wrote the first part of this series five years ago, with vague promises of a sequel. If this first chapter seems odd, it's because I did in fact start writing it five years ago, and then periodically added to it and revised it over the years. It's currently the least cringe-worthy I can make it. I really just wanted to post this because I hoard WIP sequels like nobody's business,and in the wise words of my friend Orchidbreezefc, "some > none". In any case, I'm not sure how often I will update this, but yesterday I did actually plan out the whole rest of the fic, in general terms. When the second chapter is posted, the beginning will still be a little wonky, since I actually cut off part of what I had in total in order to end this chapter in a good place. After that, I expect the fic will be written in my current (hopefully better) style.
> 
> Lastly, the title of this fic is from the Pablo Neruda poem, "Don't Go Far Off". The full poem is as follows:
> 
>  
> 
> _"Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --_  
>  because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long  
> and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station  
> when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Don't leave me, even for an hour, because_  
>  then the little drops of anguish will all run together,  
> the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift  
> into me, choking my lost heart. 
> 
>  
> 
> _Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;_  
>  may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.  
> Don't leave me for a second, my dearest, 
> 
>  
> 
> _because in that moment you'll have gone so far_  
>  I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,  
> Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?"

**Day Twelve**

Jonothan Starsmore seemed like  what people might call a cynic, but that wasn't true. He didn't expect good things to come out of anything, certainly, but cynic? He was just a… well, a realist, really. He didn't have his head stuck in the clouds and he _knew_ how mucked up and bizarre the world could be.

Case in point:

Jono was currently dating –or something –Remy LeBeau. That in itself was unusual for Jono, who'd pretty much resigned himself to a life of loneliness, but for Remy? Maybe not so much. From everything Jono had heard about Remy before he'd even met the man –and that had been less than two weeks ago –well, it was _said_ that Remy fell in love quickly and easily. It was his nature. It was also said, though, that nothing ever worked out.

And so, despite the bond they shared –they were linked mentally, for Christ's sake –Jono was afraid.

There had been something _about_ Remy when they first met. He wasn't like people had said he was; there was no swagger or charm about him. He'd seemed tired, to tell the truth, but he had still showed some sort of concern over Jono's wellbeing –over someone he didn't even _know_. Normally, someone would think it was a shame if a stranger committed suicide, but the day Remy pulled Jono back from the edge, he'd raised his eyebrow with a _look_ in his eye, and he'd asked if Jono planned on jumping… it _did_ seem like he cared. Then, the way he had voluntarily gotten a psi-link with Jono just so he could _sleep_ … Remy LeBeau was definitely something special, but why –and why _Jono_ –that was what unnerved him.

 

 

"Miss me?"

Jono looked up with a start to see the Cajun himself, standing in the doorway. " _Nah_ ,' he shrugged. " _Barely noticed you were gone."_

The corner of Remy's mouth twitched and he went over and sat down in the seat next to Jono after giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Got some news." He announced.

 _"World's ending again?"_ Jono guessed, raising his eyebrows.

"That's next year." Remy said, "No, I jus' ran into Scott on my way up. He's officially movin' back t' Graymalkin today."

Jono leaned in, " _Yeah?"_

"I t'ink we should, too."

 _"Move?_ " Jono didn't look very happy at the prospect.

Remy noticed and said immediately, "Only if y' want to. I jus' thought mebbe it'd be nice t'be 'round more people."

With a pang of guilt, Jono realized that he'd been selfish to insist on staying. He looked at the composed expression on Remy's face, knowing full well that he really wanted to move back. Remy was a person who needed people around him, much as he liked to declare himself a lone wolf.

" _No, I think it's a great idea. We can go t'day an' see the place again_." Jono said. The grin that spread across Remy's face told him that it would be worth it.

" _Merci_." Remy said, leaning across the table and pressing his lips to Jono's bandages.

* * *

 

 

Warren Worthington III gave Remy and Jono single rooms on the same hall, since they had requested rooms near each other.

Jono stood in the middle of what was to be his new bedroom and stared out the window. The room was much larger than those on Utopia, and there was actually running water –not to mention a _bathroom_ (He didn't need the toilet, but he could appreciate a nice shower). He sat down on the bed and bounced up and down a bit. Definitely more comfortable than Utopia's mattresses. The pillows were nice, too. It was all just rather empty, though Jono supposed that could change, given time.

"How do y' like it?" Remy asked, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

Jono looked up and shrugged. " _It's comfortable_ ," he acknowledged. " _An' … actually, really quite_ massive."

Remy grinned and walked over, joining Jono on the bed. They both bounced up and down as he dropped onto the mattress. "Ain't it great?" He asked, flopping back. He spread his arms out and sighed contently.

Jono stared at him for a moment before slapping a hand down on Remy's stomach and standing up, " _No falling asleep_ now _, Rem."_ he said with mock cheerfulness.

"Ow." Remy moaned, rubbing his stomach. "Not fair." He sat up.

 _"Life's not fair_ ," Jono practically sang, leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Remy's lips. It wasn't a kiss in the conventional way, just a press of Jono's bandages against Remy's mouth, more built off the memories between them of what a kiss _was_. Remy returned it happily and frowned when Jono broke it off. "You're doin' this t'get back at me." He accused, "Fo' havin' us move here."

" _Only a little. The door's open, too."_ Jono reminded him. " _'Sides. We're here ter… wot was it, 'mingle', you said? Let's go mingle_." He grabbed Remy's wrist and pulled him toward the door.

"Hey." Remy stopped them at the door and held up their hands, lacing his fingers with Jono's. "I love you."

Jono looked at their entwined hands and the corners of his eyes crinkled _. "Love you, too, Rem,"_ he said.

* * *

 

**Day Thirteen**

Jono woke up to Remy tapping on his arm and singing into his ear, "Wake up, wake up, time t' wake up".

" _Wot?"_ Jono grumbled, rolling over and putting his pillow over his head.

"Time t' move."

_"We 'ave all day."_

"It's already 'leven o'clock." Remy told him. There was a cigarette between his lips and a smile, besides. "We can move, den, if y' decide y' still want t' sleep… de beds in de rooms are much more comfortable." He blew smoke in Jono's face, much to the latter's spluttering indignation.

The day before was slowly coming back to Jono. They had spent most of the afternoon wandering around their soon-to-be home, had gotten lost in the sub levels, and after running into Iceman, they had been escorted back up to the main floor and had decided to sit in the Recreation Room for the remainder of the day.

It had been quite uneventful. It was a Sunday, so most of the X-Men were out and Remy and Jono didn't see anyone but Iceman, Logan, and Worthington for the entire day.

One hour later found Jono sitting moodily in the back of the motorboat with his arms crossed over his chest.

He and Remy hauled their many bags (alright… three) through the docks, down the streets, and into Greymalkin, where they dumped them unceremoniously in their rooms.

" _Ugh_." Jono said, flopping down face first onto his bed.

Remy poked his head into the room. "Goin' back t'sleep?"

 _"Not sleepy anymore_ ," Jono mumbled. Since he spoke with telepathy there was no way his voice could be muffled by anything, but he still remembered how it worked, and so his message came out garbled.

"Den what're y'doin' down dere?"

Jono turned his head sideways to find Remy crouched down next to the bed, peering at him at eye-level.

" _Bein' lazy."_

"Want t' go an' talk t' some o' de others?" Remy asked.

Jono looked at Remy and decided that saying no would just disappoint him. " _Why not?"_

 

Ten minutes later, Jono decided that a good answer to 'why not' would be 'Jubilee'.

She sat with them in the Rec Room, wearing a sun-reflecting pendant around her neck and a big, fanged grin on her face. She chattered happily with them, going on about how she was going to catch a sale later and ugh, that sun-reflecting necklace was just so damn ugly and she'd have to go Goth before any of her clothes would match it. Even as she talked about missing the clinic she used to run and wondering when the X-Club would create a cure for her (she was somehow managing to talk about both topics at the same time, of course), Jono noticed that she continuously glanced from him to Remy with curious eyes.

Jono wondered how long it would take before she just _asked_. Then he wondered how they would answer. Remy of course, had no problems with sexuality (and neither did he), but Jono wondered whether or not … it had only been a few days, after all… Was it even _official_? That hadn't really gone on a _date_ or anything. He had no qualms about professing love –but neither did Remy. It was almost casual, the way they exchanged 'I love you's…

"So what's up with you two?" Jubilee asked, taking a breath of air. One of the downsides (for others) to her being a vampire was that she didn't require oxygen anymore –breathing was just a reflex. No need for breathing equaled more time for talking. "Last I heard, you were acting as X's guardian." She said to Remy.

"She's doin' fine on her own." He replied, fondness coloring his tone as he thought of the girl he had been traveling with. "I decided it was 'bout time I headed home."

Jubilee raised her eyebrows, "You mean for a visit or to like, settle down a little?"

Remy feigned innocence as he looked around the room, pretending not to hear the question.

"But since when did you guys start hanging out?" She asked, turning to Jono.

_"Well y'know what's a bit sad about bein' an X-Men? Y'don't even personally know all of your team mates."_

"That doesn't answer my question, but whatever. I won't pry." Jubilee said, putting her hands in the air.

Remy and Jono looked at her with disbelief.

She smirked at their reactions and leaned in, "Are you dating?"

 _"Just going right fer it, eh"?_ Jono said flatly, " _Just like that."_

"Aw, come on," she said.

"No tellin' no one, _fille_ , got dat? We're in charge o' lettin' people know."

Her eyes grew wide and they lit up with excitement as she grinned. " _Yes,_ " Jubilee shouted, jumping up and down. "Oh my God, you guys are, like –ooh this makes so much _sense_ –wait, how _old_ are you, Remy?" She paused, wrinkling her nose at him like she thought she might have to start disapproving.

"Thirty-four?" he said, looking apprehensive, and glancing at Jono, probay realizing they'd never discussed it.

" _Twenty-nine_ ," Jono whispered in response.

Jubilee nodded, "S'not that much difference," she said, "And God, this is _good_. For both you –I mean it. You know," Jubilee continued thoughtfully, "Your fans will _totally_ be supportive. I mean, there are a _lot_ of people who don't want to believe Romy is over, but wait till they hear about _this_. The forums are going to go crazy. I just hope that if you go public, you won't fuck it up with the press, you know? That high-strung publicist lady might keel over, you know." She looked at them critically.

" _Um, wot?"_ Jono said, feeling a tad horrified by her enthusiasm.

"Forums?" Remy repeated blankly.

"Fine," she waved her hand dismissively, "But guys, when _are_ you planning on telling everyone?" she wondered, turning serious for a moment before smiling again, "I mean, _if_ you do. I definitely wanna be there. Some of their faces are going to be _priceless_ –uh, not that everyone won't still love you. I think they'll just be a little surprised…"

" _How could you tell in the first place_?" Jono said.

"Oh. Vampire senses. The nose knows." She smiled at the last part. "Plus there's like no personal space between you guys, and Gambit here might not care but Jono, you hate being close to people. Most people, anyway." Jubilee said, rolling her eyes before looking to the doorway expectantly.

A moment later, a group of people entered.

"…And this is the Recreation Room." Rogue gestured around the room. Her eyes fell on Remy, Jono, and then Jubilee. She smiled friendlily.

"Hey, Rogue, JP –who's the hottie?" Jubilee grinned at the brunette, blue-eyed man standing next to Jean-Paul.

Jean-Paul glanced sideways like _what hottie_ before turning his sharp gaze back to Jubilee. "This is my boyfriend." He said, "Mason, these are a few of the other X-Men; Gambit, Jubilee, and Chamber."

"But," Jubilee said, "None of us are actually on any active rosters. So, we're kind of like pseudo-X-Men, really." She shrugged.

"It's nice to meet you." Mason told them.

"So what're y'all up to?" Rogue asked, noticing that the TV wasn't on.

"Oh, just talking." Jubilee grinned, shooting obvious glances over to Jono and Remy.

Rogue nodded, "Been a lot happenin'." She said, "It's nice tah have a chance tah just catch up."

 

Later –and Jono couldn't be quite sure how it happened –they just kept coming and coming –the others, that was –the Recreation Room was full of chatting X-Men. Jono could still hear Jubilee's voice over everyone else's, though, and he was vaguely aware that she was arguing with Iceman over something or other, but the conversation around him was just a buzz.

Jono watched quietly as Remy and Rogue talked about old missions and funny moments. Everything they found hilarious, Jono barely understood. He began to feel lonely and –something else, which boiled slowly within him, hot like his chest cavity felt right before a psionic blast. Remy and Rogue's history together was practically legendary, Jono thought, and he couldn't even resent Rogue; she was beautiful and charming and strong and kind. She was the sort of woman anyone would be lucky to be with, and meanwhile, Jono's personality was more often than not a turn-off if his lack of mouth had not been.

Eventually, he just sat quietly on the couch and watched everyone else interact with each other. Vaguely, he wondered if anyone would notice if he left.

Remy glanced up at him as he stood up, but he responded with no more than slight question through their psi-link, which Jono answered with a wave of reassurance. _It's fine_ , he lied, and left, unnoticed.

 

 

"Jono?" Remy opened the door of his room.

" _Wot_."

"Y'alright?" He could feel through their psi-link that Jono thought that that was a very stupid question. "Y' don' like it here." Remy stated.

" _It's alright."_ Jono insisted. " _I'm jus' feelin' … I dunno. I'm not –never was –really an X-Man, y'know? Jus' a kid that went ter another school fer mutants."_

"Jono"

" _-I'm not part o' this. Never 'ave been."_ he whispered.

Remy reached out and took his hand. "D'you want t' leave?"

"No." he said. _I'll stay_ , he thought, _for you._

"Okay." Remy smiled, but a small inkling of sadness passed through their psi-link and it bothered Jono, but he said nothing about it.

* * *

 

**Day Fourteen**

Jono woke up by himself and panicked for a moment before remembering that Remy had a different room. Christ, he'd gotten so used to Remy's presence every morning. He freshened up and changed by himself in the big empty bathroom, threw on some clothes he'd packed, and then opened the door. His eyes crinkled at the corner as he smiled in his own way.

Remy grinned from where he had just opened his door across the hall.

They continued to stand in their doorways, staring across at each other before they both crossed the hall at the same time and met in the middle.

"Hi," Remy breathed once they were together. He laced his fingers with Jono's and tilted his head, gazing into his eyes as if searching for something there.

Jono was ridiculously breathless, considering he had no breath to begin with as he replied, " _Hey_."

"Come on," Remy said finally, pulling Jono down the hall.

* * *

 

**Day Fifteen**

They lay on their backs, the sun beating down on their faces while the cool autumn air bit at their cheeks. They hands rested millimeters apart on the ground beside them.

" _Remy_?"

"Yeah?"

" _Yer ever think of leavin'_?"

There was a beat before Remy replied, "Leavin' what, jus' exac'ly?"

" _This. The X-Men. Not sayin' yer should, just, 'ave yer thought about it_?" Jono asked.

"Lots o' times," Remy sighed, "Probably more than Logan an' Rogue combined, an' dat's sayin' somet'in'."

" _An' yer still here. What makes you stay_?"

"What makes me come back, more like." Remy said, "An' de funny t'ing is, I don' know. I could start a new life anywhere in de world –'sides mebbe N'awlins –but it'll always be de X-Men for ole Gambit. Got family, here."

" _Funny 'ow that works."_

Remy hummed a noise of agreement and clasped Jono's hand in his. They remained, lying in silence before Remy gave a sudden, hacking cough. He propped himself up on his elbow and turned away a little, still coughing.

" _Y'alright, Rem?"_ Jono said cautiously when the coughing had subsided.

Remy lay back on his back and took Jono's hand again, grinning, "Jus'… somethin' in my throat. Must o' breathed in a critter or somet'in',"

"Hey, Gumboooo!" shouted a quickly approaching voice.

Remy sat up and Jono's hand suddenly felt cold, all alone. "Bobby Drake," Remy said, smiling amiably, "What can I do fo' y'?"

"Couple of the X-Babies are looking for a good game," Bobby said, "We need a pitcher and you're our guy." He glanced down, "Oh, hey," he waved at Johno, before turning back to Remy, "Whadaya say, Gambit? Up for some old X-Ball?"

"Always," Remy replied, "Y' wanna come, Jono?"

Jono, still lying on his back, looked from Bobby to Remy. In the depths of his mind, something screamed _clingy_ and he shook his head. " _Nah. Reckon I'll just keep enjoyin' the nature_." he said, " _See yer later, yeah?"_

Remy's brow furrowed, "Y' sure?"

Jono found himself waving a hand dismissively, " _'Course. Never liked baseball much_. _S'not that big back home, y'know?_ "

"Well, I mean," Bobby looked a little guilty, "Gambit can always –we could find someone else to pitch, you know…"

" _C'est bien_ , Drake," Remy said, "Let's go,"

He started by the field, "See y' later, Jono," he said with a soft smile to assure him.

"Or you could come by the field later, and join the game," Bobby called back.

" _I'll see if I'm up ter it later_." Jono said politely. He listened as the sounds of their footsteps on withering grass faded away.

This. This was what he was used to. He folded his arms back behind his head and gazed up at the sky, alone.

* * *

 

**Day Sixteen**

Remy stopped, sighed and said, "A'right. What's wrong?"

Jono, who had been staring at the ceiling all the while, looked sideways.

The sun from the day before had abruptly gone for cover behind an army of gray clouds near evening and it had rained all night and into the morning. Rather than join in on the idle indoor-activities downstairs (Remy had even passed up a proposed game of cards), the couple had slipped away to the upstairs, giggling and running through the halls like teenagers.

They spent some time in Jono's room as a tangle of limbs, feeding off each other's happiness through their psi-link until it all became a warm, euphoric high.

And when they had calmed down, they talked about old missions, as they were wont to do in their spare time. Jono had very little happy times to share, and it was okay, since he preferred to listen to Remy telling his tales in that lazy Cajun drawl of his.

" _Wot_?" Jono said, rolling away from him.

Remy propped himself up on his elbows. "Your mood jus'… sometimes you're happy, an' then y'jus' get… sad an' quiet an' it's like y' don' wanna be here."

" _I_ …" Jono trailed off, realizing there was no way he could deny what Remy had said. " _I dunno. Yer right. Sometimes I just…_ " he shrugged. " _S'not like I'm_ tryin' _ter be… depressed_."

They stared at each other, both of their eyes widening.

"Oh." Remy opened his mouth to say something else, but at that moment, there was a pounding on the door and Jubilee shouted something about something going on downstairs that they needed his skillset for.

" _I'll be here,"_ Jono said immediately, when Remy turned from the door to Jono, a conflicted expression in his eyes.

"We're talkin'," Remy said seriously, getting off the bed, "When I get back, we're gon' talk about dis, Jono,"

" _'Kay_ ," Jono said weakly. He let Remy press a kiss to the place his mouth was supposed to be and it was harder than usual, like he was trying to prove something.

"I'll be back," Remy said.

" _Remy_!" Jubilee shouted from behind the door, "If you are up to shenanigans in there, so help me God, I will"

"- _Go_ ," Jono said, forcing out a light-hearted laugh, " _I'll be here."_

 

 

Remy left.

But it wasn't like _that_ , Jono reminded himself. He'd promised to be right back, after a final, strange look passed over his face.

Jono sat on his bed, staring at the door, waiting. His confidence faltered as a half hour ticked by, and he wondered what task Remy had been given that could possibly be taking so long. When it had passed an hour, Jono stood up and crossed the room to look out the window.

The courtyard below was empty, and the autumn leaves blew across the lawn.

Jono had been a fool. Blinded. Desperate.

He'd always considered himself a pretty reasonable fellow with a clear head on his shoulders, but it occurred to him then that he'd thrown all caution out of the window the second Remy came barging onto the scene.

Christ, what had he been thinking? He was out of his mind. He'd thought –shit –Jono could feel angry tears welling up behind his eyes. People didn't just _fall in love_ just over a week of knowing each other. That was stupid, and Jono was a goddamn idiot.

 

There was knocking on the door –no, not knocking –pounding. Jono hadn't been sleeping, but his awareness had wandered and the sudden noise snapped him back into reality.

The curtains were still drawn back. The sunset was gone, and all around Jono it was dark.

"JONO," a voice on the other side of the door yelled, "C'mon, open up!" Jubilee pounded on the door some more, and he crossed the room and squinted when light from the hallway flooded into his dark room.

" _Wot_?" he said flatly.

Then he noticed Jubilee's frantic expression, "Jono," she said, "It's Gambit, he"

—but Jono was already running past her.

 

 

All X-Men, whether on active roster or not, were equipped with a device that acted as an SOS signal. It was usually a nondescript item –a pen or a jacket button –that when activated, sent an alert to X-Factor Investigations who, in turn, relayed the message to wherever the X-Men were, often times that being the Mansion.

Gambit's SOS signal was on, but he was gone and the device –a lighter –had been found on the streets in the city.

"He just stepped out to pick up some more beers," Jubilee said, "Don't look like that, honestly, Jono, a couple of the others talked him into doing it because he always finds a way to get us a discount or an extra pack –he wanted to go back upstairs, I swear, but you know him, he's too nice"

"- _Wot happened_?" Jono interrupted.

They arrived at the meeting room of the mansion where a whole bunch of other X-Men were gathered, grim expressions on their faces.

"He went out and he was gone for a while, so we kind of figured he got distracted and went off to do his own thing –wouldn't be the first time," Bobby said, answering the question, which he'd apparently heard as Jono and Jubilee were walking in. "But two hours later –half an hour ago, we got a call from Jamie Maddox who said Gambit's signal had gone off."

"His device is a lighter," Scott Summers said, standing at the front of the room with his arms crossed and hard expression on his face. "Which we found approximately a mile away in the middle of a busy street, along with a couple of other pocket things –a second, real lighter, a lock picking case, a pack of cigarettes, et cetera."

" _Fuck_ ," Jono decided, putting his hands in his hair and carding his fingers through. " _We got any, I dunno, leads? On where 'e could_ be?" he tried checking his psi-link, but he felt nothing from it, and it was like it was giving off a low buzz, like static on an unused radio frequency.

"We'll find him," Scott said firmly.

A couple of the others gathered were giving Jono questioning looks, like they weren't sure why he had been brought in, but he ignored them and swallowed hard and nodded.

"Remy's tough," Rogue said, "But he ain't invincible. Ah say we use every resource we can tah track him down –startin' with Cerebro."

"The Cuckoos and Emma are already on it," Scott assured her, "And we need to think this through. Because Gambit's things were thrown into the road, we can start by assuming that he was somehow abducted by car, and that whoever took him threw his things, but that he managed to activate his SOS device before that happened."

He made to continue, but the door slammed open then and all turned to stare at the man who stood in the doorway with a thin, cruel smile and white hair and gray skin. His trench coat looked a little more battered than usual and there was blood on his hands.

Everyone in the room tensed and went on the defensive, but Jono took a step forward, eyes widening.

" _Remy_?"

The man blinked, smile dropping and the change was instant: white hair faded into brown and gray skin was chased away by tan. Remy blinked again and his eyes became their familiar red on black once more.

" _Bloody_ 'ell _,_ _Rem_ ," Jono said, " _Wot the fuck was that?"_

" _Je ne sais pas_ ," Remy said weakly, falling to his knees.

Jono rushed forward to catch him just as he passed out, and when he looked up, everyone was still frozen in place, identical looks of apprehension and alarm on their faces.

"Kid," Logan said, the first to move and step closer, "Gonna have to ask you to _step away from the man_ ,"

" _Why_?" Jono said with bewilderment, " _Wot're yer all just_ standin' _there fer? It's_ Remy _. 'E came back."_

"Yes, and we'll take him tah the Med Lab, sugah," Rogue said gently, "But that man yuh saw just now –that wasn't Remy,"

Someone helped Jono to his feet and Remy was carried to the Med Lab.

Jubilee took Jono's hand, and led him over to the table of the meeting room where she, with the help of some of the others who had lingered in the room after Remy's apparent safe return, explained just exactly who Death was.

" _I'm going to the Med Lab_ ," Jono announced when it was all laid out before him. " _Try an' stop me_ ," He left the X-Men behind and hurried out of the room and down the stairs.

Dr. Rao was with Remy in the Med Lab, having been in the building to check on the lab's equipment that day. There was also Scott, Rogue, Logan, and Emma. They were arguing in hushed tones and it was just as Jono entered the room that Remy startled into consciousness with a series of hacking coughs. " _Mon Dieu_ ," he wheezed, "De hell was dat?" He glanced around the room and his eyes met Jono's.

Fear flooded through their psi-link, so strong it made Jono stagger back. " _Remy_?" he choked out, and the fear was gone, replaced with guilt and regret.

"What happened?" Remy croaked.

Logan took a step toward Remy, and Jono noticed that he still looked on edge, and that he was sniffing slightly at the air, "What d'you remember, Gumbo?" he said slowly.

Jono didn't move any closer and Remy glanced past the others in the room once more to look his way before turning his gaze onto Logan. "Needed some air. Went out, was buyin' a couple o' Lucky Strikes," he said, "Walked out into de parkin' lot an' felt somethin' hit me in de back o' de head. Hurt like hell,"

"He's got a minor concussion," Kavita confirmed off to the side,

Remy laid back down and scrubbed a hand over his face. "T'ink I got jumped," he said, "But how'd I get back?"

Scott, Rogue, Logan, Emma, and Kavita all gave each other _looks_ and Scott, the responsible leader, stepped forward to explain. "You returned approximately ten minutes ago, Gambit," he said, "Your SOS signal had gone off earlier and we were organizing to go out to find you,"

" _Mais_ …?"

"You returned, safely," Scott said, "But you appeared as your Death persona, Remy,"

"No." Remy said at once, expression hardening, "No I didn't,"

"Rem…" Rogue began,

"No!" Remy shouted hoarsely.

The others startled, some taking involuntary steps back, and Logan looked ready to leap forward and subdue Remy if need be.

"I ain't… dat ain't part o' me no more," Remy said.

Dread and panic was pouring through the psi-link he and Jono shared and it was putting Jono on edge, which Emma Frost seemed to sense, because she suddenly whipped her head around to stare at him, ignoring Remy's breakdown.

Jono trembled where he stood, full of nervous energy that wasn't his.

 _Go_ , Emma said into his mind, but she wasn't tell him to leave. No, she was telling him to…

" _S'alright, Remy_ ," Jono blurted out. He strode forward, pushing through Scott and Logan to stand at Remy's side. " _Yer safe, and 'e's… gone_ ,"

Remy looked up into his eyes and seemed calmed slightly. "He's gone," he repeated softly.

Scott cleared his throat, shooting Jono an odd look, "So, Gambit, uh, what do you _remember_?"

Remy sighed and rolled his eyes back, "Nothin', _homme_ , jus' gettin' knocked out an' findin' myself standin' in de meetin' room,"

"Remy," Kavita said off to the side, "Have you been feeling tired recently?"

"Sure, but not more den usual. M'always a little tired," he looked from Kavita to the others with a crease forming between his eyebrows. "Dis got somethin' t'do wit' what happened?" he wondered.

"Not exactly," Kavita said, "I'd just like to run a couple of more tests on your health. It's possible that your Death persona was triggered to make an appearance due to your abduction, but I wonder if there isn't something else that's made it more ready to…"

"Alright," Remy said, "I get it. Run yo' tests, Doc,"

"We're going to have to talk about this later," Scott told Remy sternly, "But for now, I guess we'll leave you be. You've returned safely,"

"-And we got _bodies_ to find," Logan grumbled, the first to head for the doors.

"Yuh gonna be alright, sugah?" Rogue asked, lingering as Scott and Emma headed out as well. She put a gloved hand over his and Jono felt a twitch of irritation that he told himself was utterly stupid. Rogue was just concerned, and had every right to be.

" _Je sens bien_ , _ch_ _ère,_ " he said, smiling. He watched her go, a look of fondness on his face.

Jono was reluctant to draw attention to himself, still standing there, but he said, " _I was… really worried, Rem_ ,"

Remy turned his gaze onto Jono and his gaze softened, " _Je suis desol_ _é,"_ He said, "Was gonna be righ' back –swear. Didn' mean t'get kidnapped, y'know."

Jono laughed quietly, "No one plans fer it, love,"

Remy grinned and a warm feeling of affection passed through the psi-link.

Kavita reappeared from where she had disappeared into a back room of the lab, a clipboard in hand. She didn't seem put off by Jono's presence, and in fact, pulled out a stool from under a desk for Jono to take.

"Now, Remy, I'm just going to ask you some questions about your recent physical health. It's been some time since you've had a physical, hasn't it?" Kavita raised her eyebrows.

"Guilty," Remy admitted.

"Do you still smoke, Remy?" Kavita asked.

" _Oui_ , but not as much,"

"Approximately how many cigarettes or packs of cigarettes would you say you smoke a day?"

"'Bout half a pack to a pack a day," Remy shrugged.

Kavita turned to Jono, "Can you confirm this, Jono?"

" _Sounds right, I suppose._ "

She took a note on her clipboard, "You mentioned that you're usually a little tired. Have you been feeling more fatigued than usual lately?"

"Dunno,"

"Can you sit up and take off your coat, Remy?" she said, taking her stethoscope off from where it hung around her neck and putting it in her ears, "I'd like to observe your breathing,"

Remy sat up, rolling his eyes and shrugged off his coat. He let the doctor press the end of the stethoscope to his back and chest and breathed in deeply when she asked.

"Have you been sick, recently?" she asked, removing the instrument from her ears.

"No,"

"Has your cough developed recently, then? An onset to illness, perhaps?"

"Might be getting' a little sick," Remy shrugged, "I dunno. It's been like that for a little while, might be getting' worse. Whadaya think, doc?"

"It might be bronchitis without a fever," she said, "Have you had trouble breathing, lately?"

Remy shrugged. "Not dat I noticed,"

"Have you noticed increased production of mucus, along with your cough?"

"No?"

She sighed. "Alright. I want you to lay off the cigarettes," Kavita said, "And take something for the cough. Let me know if it gets worse or not,"

"Sure t'ing, doc," he said, "Dis mean I can leave?" He threw in a charming smile for a good measure, just in case the answer was dancing between 'yes' and 'no'.

Kavita rolled her eyes, "Yes, Mr. LeBeau," she said, "you may leave." She turned away to do whatever it was that she did and Remy slipped his hand into Jono's when he slipped off the bed he'd been laid out on.

In the lift, he said, "Dat was definitely de best abduction I ever experienced. Didn't even take up too much time,"

Jono would have frowned if he had a mouth. " _There's blood on yer 'ands, Rem_ ," he said, " _Y'sure yer don't remember anything?"_

Remy looked down at their hands, still intertwined, and a look of horror passed over his face when he realized that there was, in fact, blood drying on his hands. " _Merde_ ," he said, pulling his hand away from Jono's. They stuck a little from the blood between their palms. "Dat's disgustin'. M' sorry, Jono," He wiped his hands against his trench coat.

" _S'fine_ ,"

They took the lift up to their floor and when the doors opened, Remy said quietly, "Don' t'ink I forgot what we were gon' talk about, Jono,"

" _I know_ ," Jono sighed, " _It's just… Can we put a rain check on it? It's been a bloody wild evening_ ,"

Remy nodded slowly, but he didn't break eye contact with Jono for a while and then, when they had walked to their rooms, Remy stopped and pressed a kiss to Jono's bandages. "Sleep wit' me?" he said, sounding almost shy.

Jono blinked, rapidly, wondering –" _Uh, sure, Rem_ ," he said, " _I'll just, change in my room. I'll be right over, yeah_?"

When he left his room later, changed into a t-shirt and wearing his boxers, Remy's door was open a crack and he pushed it open to find the room empty and the bathroom door closed, the shower inside running.

Remy's trench coat had been thrown on the ground in the corner of the room, along with the rest of his clothes from the day and Jono sat down on the bed and looked around.

There wasn't much to Remy's room. It smelled faintly of smoke and there was an ash tray on the nightstand with a couple of cigarette butts left inside amidst the ashes. The bed still had the default sheets on it and there wasn't anything on the walls. It was furnished like Jono's room, with a bed and a nightstand and nothing else.

Remy's duffel bag was in one corner, open, but none of his clothes had been hung up yet, and anything that had been laundered had been folded and left on the floor.

It didn't look very homely, Jono decided, but who was he to judge? His room still looked like any old motel room, too.

The water of the shower turned off and there was a moment before Remy stepped out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of gray sweatpants that hung low around his hips. He grinned when he saw Jono had arrived, and padded over to his duffel bag with a sort of cat-like grace.

Jono watched him go, because he wasn't _blind_ , Christ's sake, and Remy was _his_ boyfriend, so he was certainly allowed to look, wasn't he?

Remy had a slender build, and wasn't quite as broad and muscular as some of the other X-Men. He was lean and his muscles were all stretched long like a dancer's.

Jono considered the way the muscles along his back moved up until Remy pulled a tank top on and turned. He raised his eyebrows when Remy pushed him back onto the bed and leaned over him, straddling his hips. " _Yer drippin', Rem,"_ he said, thankful, for once, that he didn't have a breath that could hitch in his chest. He was sure Remy could hear his heart pounding anyway.

Remy laughed and brushed back his still damp hair with one hand.

Jono reached up and tucked a strand that fell back behind Remy's ear. " _I dunno wot I ever did ter get you_ ," he found himself saying quietly, " _I_ _really don't_."

The smile faded from Remy's lips and he leaned down to kiss Jono, hard, and a rush of warmth washed over Jono, bordering on something hot.

"I t'ink de same thing, sometimes," Remy said seriously when he drew back.

" _You_?" Jono said incredulously. He pushed Remy away easily and reversed their positions. " _Yer a fuckin'_ god _, Rem, look at you,"_

Remy watched him with his strange eyes, a small crease between his brows. "M' gettin' old," he said, "Wrinklin', even. Got a couple o' gray hairs. M'vain an' I smoke too much an' I'm bitter sometimes. An' thank de good Lord y'ain't seen me drunk off my ass yet."

Jono frowned, " _Yer not old. Yer strong and yer smart and y' care about people and yer fun and charming. And yer quite –fit, I might add_ ,"

That provoked a small smile from Remy, but his troubled expression returned. "Tell me y' won' jump off no balcony, Jono," he said softly.

" _Remy_..."

Remy reached up to cup Jono's face, "Please," he said, "Even if y' have downs, don't do dat t'me, _d'accord_? I know how I can be –know I can get –I been dere, Jono, an' I'm still here. Jus' don' leave me."

Jono stared. He hadn't wanted to have this conversation today, and he wanted to tell Remy that was the psi-link speaking, but he just nodded, " _Wouldn't dream of it, love_ ," he said, wondering, in a deep part of his mind, if that was a promise he could really make.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright this is pretty short but I'm trying to kick my ass into gear to AT LEAST finish the four fics I still have in my arsenal (not including the ones I began and never posted. I'm looking at you, Alternate Bobby Drake Origin Story) and that also explains why this chapter is shorter than the 4k I usually aim for with chapters.
> 
> Just a reminder, a portion of the beginning bit of this chapter is reworked from what was left over of the beginning I started writing five years ago. Hopefully I've revised it to where the differences in writing style isn't THAt noticeable lmao.
> 
> Also, I don't know when I'll get around to posting an update, but as I said in the last chapter, this fic is all plotted out and now it's just a matter of when I can force myself to actually working on it. :)

**Day Seventeen**

 

Jono cracked an eye open and saw that the bed beside him was empty. He had fallen asleep curled beside Remy, and his sleep had been pleasantly interwoven with Remy's subconscious presence.

Remy stood by the window, now, standing in  low-riding sweatpants and tank top, smoking out of a small crack in the window.

For a moment, Jono just looked at him, standing in the morning light looking like something out of a magazine. There was a frown on his face.

" _S'cold out_ ," Jono said finally, " _Close the window, yeah?"_

Remy turned, noticed that Jono was awake, and smiled apologetically. He went over to sit down on the bed next to Jono, "Mornin'," he said.

" _Didn't Kavita tell you ter stop smoking?"_

"She said t' cut down, not t' stop. 'Sides, I ain' abou' t'quit cold turkey."

Jono rolled his eyes. " _Wot time is it_?"

"Ten," Remy said. He stubbed out the cigarette and laid back down, wrapping his arms around Jono's waist. "Logan came by dis mornin'. Said dey found de bodies an' showed me dese driver's licenses. Never seen dose men in my life." He let out a deep sigh and buried his face into the crook of Jono's neck, stubble scratching at Jono's skin.

" _It's not yer fault, whatever 'appened,"_ Jono said. " _They kidnapped you. Who knows wot they would've done?"_ His words shook loose his own memories and unbidden, he thought about the day Jubilee and Angelo had been taken, all those years ago and he remembered their crucified bodies, arms outstretched and heads lolling against their chests. He shuddered internally.

Remy seemed to have picked up on his fear, whether through the psi-link or through his empathetic abilities, Jono wasn't sure. His arms tightened around Jono. "Been kidnapped a couple o' times now," he said lightly, "S'always worked out fo' me in de end,"

Jono sighed, wanting to say something like _I know, but-_ or  _It still kills me a little-_ but he couldn't find the right words to voice his fears and his worry, so kept it to himself. He ran his hand along Remy's back absently, tracing his spine. " _You 'ave breakfast yet, Rem_?" he asked.

"No," Remy didn't say anything else for a moment, but then—

" _Did you just_ purr _?"_ Jono said, incredulous. The low noise in Remy's chest had _definitely_ been a—

"No," Remy said at once, "Was not a purr, Jono."

" _You purred_ ," Jono insisted gleefully. " _Cat burglar,_ " he whispered.

Remy grumbled another denial and pulled away, "M'gettin' somethin' t'eat," he declared, but Jono didn't miss the way he was blushing a little and he wished he could kiss Remy, then, and it wasn't that he hadn't thought about it before, but he'd never been so overcome with the _want_ of it, and so disappointed by the impossibility.

" _I love you_ ," he blurted out. " _Fuck me, I love you a lot, Remy. Don't even know why, half the time, but I do_."

Remy paused, looking startled, and then he grinned and it lit up his entire face. "Love you, too," he said, and pressed a soft kiss to where Jono's mouth was meant to be.

He lingered, but it was Jono who pulled away. " _Rem_ ," he said, looking away, " _Y'know I can't feel anything. There's no... point_."

"Dat's a lie an' y'know it, Jono," Remy said, but he let it go. "C'mon," he took Jono's hand and pulled him out of bed, "Let's go downstairs, _d'accord_?"

Jono didn't say anything but he let Remy pull him out of bed and he stopped briefly at his own room to put on a change of clothes.

When they arrived in the cafeteria of the mansion, a couple people turned to stare and Jono had a brief moment of panic before he realized that they were likely watching Remy.

They sat in the corner at a table to themselves and Jono hid behind a paper he had no intention of reading while Remy ate, and that was perhaps why he didn't notice anyone had approached the table until Rogue, Jubilee, and Bobby were already sitting down.

"So you certainly gave everyone quite a scare yesterday," Jubilee said. "How're you feeling today, Remy?"

He waved a hand dismissively, still in the middle of chewing. He coughed a little, swallowed quickly and grinned sheepishly. "Don' worry 'bout me, _fille._ Y'know I've survived worse." he said.

She made a face. "It's thinking like that that gets us all in trouble," she grumbled.

Remy merely shot her a sly grin and winked, and Jubilee huffed loudly, as if fed up with his antics, but she smiled, too.

Around lunch, they parted; Remy was being summoned before the Fearless Leader to discuss what had occurred the previous evening, and it appeared that after having bummed around for a couple of days, Jono was being assigned some sort of job. He supposed it was inevitable; he wasn't on an active roster, and he had to earn his keep. Nothing had been expected from him on Utopia because it was a refugee center, in essence.

Jono followed Emma's telepathic instructions and ventured to the garage, where he was surprised to find Bobby Drake, Jean-Paul, and a girl with pink hair and wings. He vaguely recalled her as one of the X-Kids, a couple years younger than Jubilee.

"Hullo!" she sang, surging forward to meet him with an outstretched hand. "We haven't had the chance to meet yet. I'm Megan, Pixie on the field."

He blinked, stopping short to stare at her. He was clearly overdue for a trip back to the Isles, because even her vaguely familiar accent made him ache for England. He blurted out, " _Welsh_?"

She laughed. "I am," she said. "You're the first to make that distinction in quite some time."

Jono shook his head. " _Right, sorry. I'm Jono. Chamber."_ he said. He shook her hand quickly.

"Wonderful," Megan said, grinning.

Behind her, Jean-Paul cleared his throat. "Shall we get going?" he said, holding up car keys and jingling them obnoxiously.

Bobby grabbed them from his hands smoothly and said, "What's the rush, JP? Gonna run off on us the second we get out there?"

"If I wanted to run away from you…" Jean-Paul gave up on his retort and settled for just rolling his eyes and following Bobby toward a dark van.

"When did you come over?" Megan asked, falling into step with Jono.

He snorted. " _Years ago. Mutated. Went ter Academy X fer Emma's new class_."

Megan's face lit up. "Right! You're Jubilee's age, aren't?"

Jono shrugged, " _Bit older_ _._ " Christ. How old was Megan? The X-Kids couldn't be more than seventeen or eighteen. Remy was right. They were old. The 'X-Business', as it were, seemed to be taking the kids younger and younger all the time.

"Yeah?" Megan said, raising her pink eyebrows.

They climbed into the backseat of the van and it occurred to Jono to ask, " _So, er, where are we going_?"

"You're coming with us on a charity run, kiddo," Bobby said, even though _he_ was the same age as Jono, if not younger.

" _Charity run_?"

"Community service," Jean-Paul said, eyeing Bobby with suspicion as he backed the car out of the garage with hardly a look backward.

"He makes it sound like a chore," Bobby sighed. "But, uh, X-Men do have a community service quota we have to fill per week. It's not bad –most of us have abilities to expedite the work process anyway, and that makes everyone happy enough. Plus, our publicist says it makes us look good and she has a list of which of us needs a better public image."

"You _lot need a better public image_?" Jono says.

"No," Megan says, "Just you and Jean-Paul,"

"I'm a homosexual," Jean-Paul said drawling and waving a hand dismissively in a way that suggested to Jono that perhaps he wasn't being serious about the reason for his presence, "And apparently my blatant gayness in 2012 is putting off a couple of _mom_ _groups_ that missed the giant memo in my memoir. I'm fairly certain I dedicated a chapter to it, I don't know how it went unnoticed." he said.

Bobby snickered. "Yeah, _that's_ why. Anyway, all the moms like _me_ and the kids think Megan's the coolest thing next to _the_ coolest thing, so…"

"And there's you," Jean-Paul said, "No one's quite sure what to do with you."

" _Oh_ ,"

"Jono," Bobby said loudly, shooting Jean-Paul a glare, "I apologize in advance for JP being a total ass."

"Don't call me that," Jean-Paul said sharply,

"What, an ass?"

"No, the other –but don't call me that, either," Jean-Paul snapped, "And watch where you're going, _oui_?"

"Oh _oui,_ of course," Bobby muttered, taking a particularly sharp turn at the next light.

Jono left them to their bickering, and turned to look out the window, at the city passing them by. He'd moved out to the West Coast over a year earlier, right around the time most mutants were fleeing to San Francisco, and one of the things he never quite got used to was the weather –the constant heat, the perpetual midday sun. It was pleasant weather that Jono, born and raised in London, had never really grown accustom to, but generally appreciated, anyway. Today, though, the good weather just put Jono –whose thought were occupied by what Remy and Scott could be talking about in regards to what had happened –on edge.

"So Jono," Bobby spoke up, interrupting his thoughts, "We haven't really had a chance to really talk yet, but we're all a little curious. How long've you known Gambit?"

Jono blinked. " _Oh. Er. Reckon it's just been a couple o' weeks. Met when 'e came back t' California."_

"Really?" Megan said, looking over at Jono curiously, "You haven't, like, worked together on a mission before?"

" _Erm. Maybe. Not closely, though. 'Aven't been on any missions, y'know… Just been sort o' 'angin' about…_ _Er, why?_ "

"These two," Jean-Paul said –and Jono could _hear_ the eye-rolling that was happening in the front seat –"are merely trying to say that you and Gambit appear quite close."

" _Oh_. _Yeah, I suppose. We hit it off."_

Bobby laughed, "That's Remy for you, huh? Makes friends left and right."

" _Red light_ , Robert!" Jean-Paul said, " _Arrêt, arrêt –_ Oh, _Mon Dieu._ You're a menace."

"This coming from you is so hypocritical. And I was driving _fine_."

"I am driving back." Jean-Paul said darkly.

* * *

It soon became clear that their destination was some sort of demolition site on the outskirts of the city. There were a couple of orange-vest wearing workers on the scene as Bobby drove the van slowly over the ruined pavement of the parking lot.

" _Wot is this place_?" Jono wondered as they climbed out of the van.

"Old storage unit that a sector of A.I.M was using," Bobby said. "Place got pretty messed up last week during a raid –no thanks to our guys, I guess –so we're on clean-up duty."

"It's fairly simple," Megan told Jono, "Mostly, we get debris cleared out. You can use your powers to blast some of the larger pieces."

"Alright," Bobby said, "I freeze and shatter, you blast –Megan and Jean-Paul will take care of sweeping everything up. Let's do this."

The workers on the site directed them toward the parts of pavement and destroyed building that needed to be taken care of, and from there the work become rather mindless.

Jono was silent as he concentrated his psionic blasts on the building rubble, but everyone else bantered cheerfully around him. Bobby seemed to know most of the workmen by name, and they got along easily in a manner that was decidedly foreign to Jono of late. It wasn't that he was some sort of social recluse –although the development of his powers years ago had seemed like a good reason to go down that path.

It was just…Jono was sure that he'd always been somewhat prickly, though before his mutation, it'd managed to give him a sort of –of charm. He supposed it helped that his confidence had been atypically high for a teenager. He'd done well enough when he lost his powers after M-Day, after the initial shock of it all. The transition back to ' _normal_ ' had been the roughest, though in truth Jono couldn't recall much of it except for the hospital equipment and Scott and Beast bustling about, making sure life support was, well, _supporting_ him.

Oddly, everything after that was even less memorable, though Jono was certain that he'd been as close to _happy_ after the run-in with the Clan Akkaba as he'd been since the early days of Academy X. Or he should have been, anyway. Jono had a way of sulking even when things were plodding along to his advantage. It was easy to see that _now_ , he supposed, when he'd lost everything once more, thanks to some sort of reality warp by Legion.

Yet another stint on a suicide watch (albeit, one cleverly disguised as a mutation observation) later, Jono wondered if he ought to start appreciating his current living situation a tad more.

If he could scowl, Jono would. As it was, he furrowed his brow and blasted the next block of cement and rock with more power than necessary. It wasn't that he didn't _appreciate_ it, he thought bitterly. Of course, he fucking _wanted_ to. There was just –it was like there was too much going on in his mind, anyway. Too much overthinking. Too much worry.

' _And this thing with Remy_ ,' he thought, ' _It's too new to think about our –_ my – _future. Who knows where it's going? How long it'll go on for_?' Though he loathed to admit it, Jono was beginning to put his guard up, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Hey, Jono –turn down the blasts, huh? We're done here. No need to blow up more than necessary –save that for the battles."

Jono blinked, and looked at Bobby, who was standing near him in ice-form, his hand up in a _stop_ gesture. There was a nervous grin on Bobby's face.

" _Sorry_ ," Jono said, letting out the extra energy in his chest. The psionic flames flared for a moment before receding to a manageable flicker in his chest and jaw, and Jono scrambled for the hanging pieces of his bandages, wrapping them over the cavities in his body hastily. He always felt bizarrely self-conscious doing it, as if he was scrambling to clothe himself. It didn't help that Bobby didn't react as most did, choosing instead to stare curiously at Jono as he took more time to carefully shape the bandages around his neck and jaw.

" _Wot_?"

Bobby blushed, "Oh, uh –sorry, dude. I was just wondering, like… how does it just –keep the shape of your face, I guess?"

Jono blinked. It'd been a while since someone had asked so bluntly. " _Er… I guess, it's a bit subconscious. Been told a couple o' times I'm really just a ball of energy in'abiting a dead shell, but that's off putting, innit?"_

Bobby's eyes widened, but then he let out a bark of laughter.

"What's the joke?" Megan wondered as she and Jean-Paul approached them from where they'd been gathering the debris into a large metal bin at one end of the parking lot.

Bobby glanced at Jono, amusement still written on his face, but he just shrugged and checked his wristwatch. "Awesome," he said, "It's not even three yet. Anyone wanna stop for fro-yo?"

Megan's face lit up, but Jean-Paul frowned.

Jono turned for the van, pretending not to notice how Jean-Paul had glanced his way.

The ride back to the Greymalkin complex was indeed longer; they ended up stopping for frozen yogurt, where Bobby and Megan loaded up on so many toppings Jono was surprised their cups didn't end up weighing in over five pounds.

Later, they sat outside at a table under an umbrella, watching the foot traffic beyond the shop.

" _So 'ow often d'yer all do this_?" Jono wondered.

"Well," Jean-Paul said, " _Robert_ actually does this most frequently. Once a week, I believe,"

"I can usually rope _JP_ here into coming, too, because for someone who always complains he's busy, he never seems to be up to much." Bobby said, snickering. "Then, I take whoever's powers might be especially useful for what the job is, plus whoever wants to come, plus, y'know, whoever PR wants us to take."

" _Like me_." Jono said.

"Right. I mean, it's not that you have a _bad_ reputation –honestly, and no offense, I don't think you _have_ a reputation yet. But I guess PR thinks you might look a little"

" _-Fright'nin'._ "

"-Unapproachable," Bobby said.

"It is utter shit, really," Jean-Paul remarked.

"Yeah," Megan said, frowning around another spoonful of her yogurt. She swallowed and proceeded to wave her spoon around in the air in front of her, saying, "I mean, like. Nobody really wants to deal with public relations, but things are still tense, y'know? Scott says we _have_ to, as, like, the face of the mutant community. Et cetera. And it's not so bad. Sometimes it's really fun, actually." She beamed at Jono.

Jono looked around the table, taking in the expressions around him, which reflected various degrees of concern and reassurance. They were –trying to comfort him, he realized, dumbfounded. "' _Course,_ " he said eventually, " _S'not so bad._ "

"Does this mean you'd be up to coming out for the job next week?" Bobby said, though, judging by the way his eyebrows lifted when Jono shrugged and nodded, he'd been joking.

"Awesome," Megan said, grinning. She finished off her frozen yogurt in a couple of calculated swoops of her spoon. "Are you guys ready to head home?"

' _Home_ ,' Jono thought, glad that everyone was too occupied with straightening up and heading back to the car to notice how the word made him cringe. It was peculiar, the way he still reacted to a word that had lost any real meaning long ago. Once, Jono might have been able to convincingly say that London was home, but he hadn't been back there in years, and after his experiences… he was reluctant to get comfortable enough to call any new place 'home'.

' _Ain' it better t'love an' lose?'_ wondered a small voice in the back of Jono's mind. It sounded suspiciously like Remy.

' _Maybe,_ ' Jono told the voice, ' _But I'm tired o' losing_ ,'

"How are you feeling?"

He startled at the sound of Megan's voice and sat up, realizing that he must've given some type of audible sigh as he stared out the window. " _M'alright,_ " he said, " _Just thinking, I s'ppose,_ "

"Anything ground-breaking?" Bobby asked, turning in the passenger seat. His tone was light, but there was a knowing look in his eyes that made Jono wonder what his story was. He would be surprised, given the X-Men tradition of hardship, if there wasn't one.

" _Not particularly, no,_ " Jono said, and then, out of some guilt for his reticent behavior, he added, " _Er, rather… I've just been thinking about_ – _about Greymalkin. Getting used to it, that is,_ "

"Ah," Bobby said, "I get it. Moving around all the time, am I right? It takes a little time, I guess. Come to think of it, I've only ever lived maybe four places, but what with the mansion getting destroyed all the time… It feels like a lot more. I got recruited right after I turned fifteen, you know. It feels like a lifetime ago."

The car grew quiet after that as everyone seemed to fall into their own thoughts.

Jono was weary of thinking so much, though, and so he shook away his doubts and cynical musings for once, turning to stare listlessly at the city flying by the windows. There was a breeze coming in through Bobby's half-open window, and there was some sort of bubbly summer pop-song on the radio that Megan was mouthing along to.

He closed his eyes and thought about nothing, disconnecting from his own feelings until he opened his eyes and took in the world flashing by and only thought about the way the sun reflected against tinted storefront windows and didn't feel a thing, not one thing but the wind against his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/reviews are welcomed

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Again, updates will come periodically, since I have a couple of fic things going on, but as I've been saying for the last five years --I haven't forgotten about this fic.


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